








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,558 | |
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3628 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,952 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3072 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4277 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3527 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5076 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,327,222 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ♿risikenSchwanz_GHG♿ | 53% | 108 |
| #7 | Fabian | 51% | 350 |
| #8 | Swzzl | 50% | 155 |
| #9 | Chaui98 | 48% | 81 |
| #10 | .SilentStorm | 48% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabian | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | .SilentStorm | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | lolfeo | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Swzzl | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ♿risikenSchwanz_GHG♿ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabian | 2616 | 0.37 | 75 min |
| #2 | ♿risikenSchwanz_GHG♿ | 739 | 0.33 | 14 min |
| #3 | Swzzl | 468 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | .SilentStorm | 322 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Shino | 306 | 0.11 | 6 min |





