








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,124 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2528 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1569 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2449 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2578 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $753,324 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shino | 61% | 109 |
| #2 | lolfeo | 55% | 62 |
| #3 | Fabian | 49% | 196 |
| #4 | ♿risikenSchwanz_GHG♿ | 49% | 91 |
| #5 | Mr.Wolf04 | 48% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Fabian | 49% | 196 |
| #4 | ♿risikenSchwanz_GHG♿ | 49% | 91 |
| #5 | Mr.Wolf04 | 48% | 162 |
| #6 | Patrick Bateman | 47% | 32 |
| #7 | Swzzl | 46% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabian | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | ♿risikenSchwanz_GHG♿ | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Mr.Wolf04 | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Swzzl | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Shino | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabian | 1552 | 0.38 | 48 min |
| #2 | ♿risikenSchwanz_GHG♿ | 599 | 0.33 | 12 min |
| #3 | Swzzl | 318 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | Shino | 276 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Mr.Wolf04 | 241 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lolfeo | +2.51 | 57 | 44 |
| #2 | Fabian | +1.82 | 67 | 77 |
| #3 | Shino | +0.27 | 65 | 54 |
| #4 | .SilentStorm | +0.16 | 57 | 63 |
| #5 | Patrick Bateman | -0.69 | 52 | 57 |





