








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1821 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 678 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 47,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16942 | 36% |
| Smokes | 11465 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 12082 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7020 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,047,688 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1019 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Abzist | 58% | 454 |
| #6 | ruan | 56% | 399 |
| #7 | 104 | 52% | 178 |
| #8 | stunned posssum | 50% | 70 |
| #9 | orbit | 46% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ruan | 89 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | 104 | 39 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | Abzist | 16 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Hypno-Toad | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | stunned posssum | 14 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hypno-Toad | 1645 | 0.32 | 39 min |
| #2 | ruan | 1544 | 0.19 | 37 min |
| #3 | Abzist | 1428 | 0.16 | 36 min |
| #4 | 104 | 723 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #5 | @Tunes_tm | 357 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stunned posssum | +3.16 | 79 | 40 |
| #2 | Abzist | +2.52 | 66 | 66 |
| #3 | ruan | +2.10 | 74 | 47 |
| #4 | Hypno-Toad | +1.95 | 71 | 66 |
| #5 | fanta light | +1.58 | 69 | 64 |





