








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5106 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4633 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4194 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3546 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,173,660 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hypno-Toad | 69% | 93 |
| #2 | @Tunes_tm | 68% | 113 |
| #3 | 104 | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | mew mew | 63% | 24 |
| #5 | ruan | 58% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 104 | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | mew mew | 63% | 24 |
| #5 | ruan | 58% | 48 |
| #6 | dam0n | 58% | 454 |
| #7 | orbit | 42% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dam0n | 19 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Hypno-Toad | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ruan | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | @Tunes_tm | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | orbit | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dam0n | 1928 | 0.22 | 42 min |
| #2 | Hypno-Toad | 646 | 0.35 | 14 min |
| #3 | ruan | 188 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | @Tunes_tm | 163 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | mew mew | 87 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hypno-Toad | +2.78 | 72 | 68 |
| #2 | Abzist | +2.51 | 66 | 67 |
| #3 | ruan | +2.46 | 79 | 54 |
| #4 | dam0n | +0.56 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | mew mew | +0.22 | 59 | 48 |





