








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 822 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,069 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1107 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1499 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1177 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1286 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,664,067 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 875 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | switchcolourss | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | M!lk | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | scemo | 47% | 126 |
| #4 | switchwrlds | 43% | 111 |
| #5 | awesomekoi | 34% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scemo | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | switchwrlds | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | awesomekoi | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | M!lk | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | switchcolourss | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scemo | 240 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | switchwrlds | 195 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | switchcolourss | 84 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | awesomekoi | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | M!lk | 43 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scemo | +2.39 | 63 | 59 |
| #2 | M!lk | +2.29 | 79 | 41 |
| #3 | gw℮b | -0.34 | 51 | 36 |
| #4 | switchwrlds | -1.12 | 60 | 41 |
| #5 | awesomekoi | -1.33 | 34 | 35 |





