








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 170 matches | ||
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11010 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6888 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 8119 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7088 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,671,670 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1805 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JBaby | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | 【𝕗𝕚ᵛ𝐄 Δ๓】 | 63% | 40 |
| #3 | Tech Sarnt’ Raids | 62% | 37 |
| #4 | PeachFuzz | 55% | 55 |
| #5 | yanney | 54% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | emt | 52% | 44 |
| #8 | iJumby | 51% | 57 |
| #9 | 80 Nuggets | 50% | 38 |
| #10 | p0keyy | 48% | 48 |
| #11 | Jimmy | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I never cap | 19 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | JBaby | 8 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Tech Sarnt’ Raids | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Jimmy | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | 80 Nuggets | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeachFuzz | 580 | 0.52 | 15 min |
| #2 | I never cap | 366 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #3 | iJumby | 249 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | yanney | 216 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | p0keyy | 165 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I never cap | +3.89 | 83 | 77 |
| #2 | roxo | +2.29 | 84 | 71 |
| #3 | JBaby | +2.19 | 73 | 76 |
| #4 | p0keyy | +1.82 | 73 | 67 |
| #5 | iJumby | +1.69 | 61 | 79 |





