








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1485 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1367 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 971 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1807 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $534,297 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roopy | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | shigetora | 53% | 57 |
| #3 | Pandemic! At The Disco | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | zoombasta | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roopy | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | shigetora | 53% | 57 |
| #3 | Pandemic! At The Disco | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | zoombasta | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pandemic! At The Disco | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | zoombasta | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Roopy | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | shigetora | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zoombasta | 303 | 0.37 | 8 min |
| #2 | Pandemic! At The Disco | 116 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Roopy | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | shigetora | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w4sh the cr4ck r4coon | +2.58 | 89 | 58 |
| #2 | shigetora | +2.57 | 81 | 47 |
| #3 | zoombasta | +0.65 | 62 | 76 |
| #4 | Pandemic! At The Disco | -0.42 | 42 | 66 |
| #5 | Roopy | -4.77 | 29 | 40 |





