








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3324 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3257 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3176 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1654 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2501 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $939,940 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | VinC3NT | 46% | 28 |
| #7 | Shady- | 46% | 26 |
| #8 | KeN | 44% | 34 |
| #9 | XIVASS | 39% | 56 |
| #10 | Sk1p | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huh? | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | XIVASS | 7 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | MakaVeli | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Sk1p | 5 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | VinC3NT | 2 | 0.0039 |





