








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1044 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3292 | 38% |
| Smokes | 723 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 2473 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2288 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $782,271 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 864 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MakaVeli | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Shady- | 62% | 47 |
| #3 | Sk1p | 54% | 105 |
| #4 | Huh? | 49% | 57 |
| #5 | XIVASS | 48% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Shady- | 62% | 47 |
| #3 | Sk1p | 54% | 105 |
| #4 | Huh? | 49% | 57 |
| #5 | XIVASS | 48% | 122 |
| #6 | HanG MaN | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XIVASS | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Sk1p | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Huh? | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Shady- | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | MakaVeli | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XIVASS | 263 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Huh? | 218 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sk1p | 209 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | MakaVeli | 101 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | Shady- | 89 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MakaVeli | +1.82 | 68 | 71 |
| #2 | Shady- | +1.40 | 67 | 52 |
| #3 | Huh? | +1.28 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | HanG MaN | +0.64 | 60 | 63 |
| #5 | KeN | +0.27 | 72 | 62 |





