








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
64 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 69 | 36% |
| Smokes | 33 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 56 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 33 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $23,026 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nakey Toad | 46% | 13 |
| #2 | Fluff | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Gervinho | 25% | 4 |
| #4 | Choo Choo | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | Dale | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nakey Toad | 46% | 13 |
| #2 | Fluff | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Gervinho | 25% | 4 |
| #4 | Choo Choo | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | Dale | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dale | 2 | 0.0260 |
| #2 | Fluff | 2 | 0.0357 |
| #3 | Gervinho | 1 | 0.0130 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gervinho | 13 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #2 | Dale | 6 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | Nakey Toad | 5 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nakey Toad | +5.58 | 67 | 36 |
| #2 | Dale | +2.86 | 52 | 44 |
| #3 | Captain Goonbeard | -4.78 | 22 | 33 |
| #4 | Choo Choo | -5.87 | 63 | 16 |
| #5 | Gervinho | -6.28 | 25 | 27 |





