








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 528 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3981 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2897 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1893 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2581 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $431,070 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1017 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yaKn | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Q-Baby | 60% | 47 |
| #3 | john digliotta | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | nvfux | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | C4rver | SELLING SKINS | 48% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | C4rver | SELLING SKINS | 48% | 61 |
| #6 | Uberpwnage | 41% | 29 |
| #7 | nex_muffin | 40% | 15 |
| #8 | FIREWOULF | 36% | 14 |
| #9 | Linus Crack Tips | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C4rver | SELLING SKINS | 10 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Q-Baby | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | yaKn | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | john digliotta | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | nex_muffin | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C4rver | SELLING SKINS | 156 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Q-Baby | 135 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | yaKn | 106 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | nex_muffin | 67 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | john digliotta | 62 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | john digliotta | +2.54 | 78 | 58 |
| #2 | Q-Baby | +1.69 | 63 | 74 |
| #3 | FIREWOULF | +0.24 | 59 | 58 |
| #4 | yaKn | +0.13 | 54 | 66 |
| #5 | Linus Crack Tips | -0.11 | 62 | 52 |





