








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,593 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3891 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3882 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2697 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3123 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $848,521 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yaKn | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | john digliotta | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | lmao | 60% | 47 |
| #4 | Floyda | 56% | 50 |
| #5 | Numfa | 54% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | lmao | 60% | 47 |
| #4 | Floyda | 56% | 50 |
| #5 | Numfa | 54% | 48 |
| #6 | Snooks | 50% | 24 |
| #7 | JqMarsh | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lmao | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Numfa | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Floyda | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | JqMarsh | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | john digliotta | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Numfa | 218 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | lmao | 179 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | yaKn | 114 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Floyda | 98 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | john digliotta | 91 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | john digliotta | +2.87 | 76 | 55 |
| #2 | Q-Baby | +1.18 | 61 | 75 |
| #3 | Floyda | +0.89 | 68 | 64 |
| #4 | yaKn | +0.51 | 53 | 64 |
| #5 | Snooks | +0.18 | 56 | 62 |





