








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 854 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 109 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4846 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6614 | 41% |
| Smokes | 3082 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3028 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3323 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,032,447 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 756 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :c | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | Keinänen | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | arie | 50% | 149 |
| #4 | JOBELESSEMINEM | 47% | 113 |
| #5 | Cat<3 | 42% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOBELESSEMINEM | 13 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | arie | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Cat<3 | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | :c | 7 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | Jnni | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arie | 424 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | JOBELESSEMINEM | 364 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Cat<3 | 264 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Keinänen | 110 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | :c | 100 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :c | +5.32 | 71 | 65 |
| #2 | ✪Franss1va1n✪ | +2.87 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | Keinänen | +0.92 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | arie | +0.81 | 54 | 64 |
| #5 | Jambero | +0.03 | 32 | 37 |





