








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1596 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 918 matches | ||
| Wingman | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3865 | 16% |
| Smokes | 8031 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5033 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7864 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,342,097 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 687 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bear Necessities | 57% | 82 |
| #2 | H0LL0WICH | 52% | 288 |
| #3 | T SIDED IN MY BLOOD | 48% | 60 |
| #4 | Mr.Sm00thbra1n | 48% | 292 |
| #5 | Taco | 47% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Sm00thbra1n | 29 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | H0LL0WICH | 17 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Mr3-inch | 11 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Bear Necessities | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | viN | 7 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Sm00thbra1n | 461 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | Mr3-inch | 307 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Bear Necessities | 294 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Taco | 190 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | T SIDED IN MY BLOOD | 174 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr3-inch | +2.98 | 73 | 57 |
| #2 | Bear Necessities | +2.85 | 65 | 66 |
| #3 | H0LL0WICH | +1.37 | 55 | 31 |
| #4 | Shmoke | +0.16 | 40 | 57 |
| #5 | T SIDED IN MY BLOOD | +0.08 | 31 | 63 |





