








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,092 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1697 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1206 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1199 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 990 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $324,219 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bear Necessities | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Shmoke | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | viN | 50% | 56 |
| #4 | SPARTANSGONEWILD | 48% | 46 |
| #5 | InspiringRex | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPARTANSGONEWILD | 11 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | Shmoke | 6 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | ✘Giga✘☂ | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | viN | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Taco | 3 | 0.0161 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viN | 158 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | ✘Giga✘☂ | 137 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | SPARTANSGONEWILD | 104 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Shmoke | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ridiculous Racecar Noises | 56 | 0.19 | 2 min |





