








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 563 | 19% |
| Smokes | 994 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 656 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 765 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $285,178 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VeleHo | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | emuj | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | Waldee | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | Nipa | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | franK | 56% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | luasma | 52% | 31 |
| #7 | VilleS | 50% | 6 |
| #8 | miLo♡ | 50% | 18 |
| #9 | Siljeeeh | 45% | 20 |
| #10 | sörsseli | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | franK | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | luasma | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Siljeeeh | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | miLo♡ | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | franK | 245 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | Waldee | 116 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | luasma | 96 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Siljeeeh | 65 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | emuj | 47 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waldee | +2.60 | 80 | 76 |
| #2 | VeleHo | +2.57 | 92 | 70 |
| #3 | emuj | +1.91 | 87 | 63 |
| #4 | Nipa | +1.46 | 70 | 66 |
| #5 | VilleS | +0.90 | 77 | 72 |





