








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1041 | 26% |
| Smokes | 941 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 748 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1245 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $913,569 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Karma | 53% | 108 |
| #6 | Sushi ♥ | 52% | 21 |
| #7 | NVMELESSKING777 | 51% | 107 |
| #8 | Chmaqo | 51% | 43 |
| #9 | Lassaad | 51% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karma | 19 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | NVMELESSKING777 | 14 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Lassaad | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Axel_ltb | 5 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | Abbé Asterix | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karma | 395 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Lassaad | 391 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | NVMELESSKING777 | 306 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kramoss62 | 89 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chmaqo | 83 | 0.09 | 2 min |





