








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 479 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 425 matches | ||
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4396 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4330 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4590 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5033 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,835,751 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sushi ♥ | 53% | 77 |
| #2 | Chmaqo | 52% | 253 |
| #3 | Karma | 52% | 321 |
| #4 | squiou | 51% | 107 |
| #5 | Lassaad | 50% | 391 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sushi ♥ | 53% | 77 |
| #2 | Chmaqo | 52% | 253 |
| #3 | Karma | 52% | 321 |
| #4 | squiou | 51% | 107 |
| #5 | Lassaad | 50% | 391 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karma | 67 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Lassaad | 27 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | squiou | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Chmaqo | 3 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lassaad | 1682 | 0.20 | 46 min |
| #2 | Karma | 1025 | 0.16 | 28 min |
| #3 | Chmaqo | 545 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #4 | Sushi ♥ | 299 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | squiou | 253 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karma | +2.63 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | Sushi ♥ | +2.13 | 80 | 57 |
| #3 | Lassaad | +1.00 | 83 | 67 |
| #4 | Chmaqo | +0.90 | 78 | 67 |
| #5 | squiou | -0.50 | 67 | 48 |





