








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,612 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1117 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2032 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2106 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2357 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $950,375 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kazeshini | 51% | 68 |
| #2 | makone ヅ | 50% | 84 |
| #3 | flasht | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | Osaka.jpg | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | MWP ヅ | 43% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MWP ヅ | 43% | 112 |
| #6 | Hametz @CAGGTUS | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | J_Tob | 40% | 50 |
| #8 | Zerons | 36% | 76 |
| #9 | FraschFame | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osaka.jpg | 6 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | makone ヅ | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Zerons | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Hametz @CAGGTUS | 3 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | MWP ヅ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MWP ヅ | 359 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | Zerons | 309 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | makone ヅ | 275 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kazeshini | 204 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | J_Tob | 162 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kazeshini | +1.98 | 80 | 58 |
| #2 | makone ヅ | +1.53 | 77 | 71 |
| #3 | J_Tob | +1.14 | 63 | 77 |
| #4 | Hametz @CAGGTUS | +0.55 | 60 | 67 |
| #5 | MWP ヅ | +0.43 | 71 | 62 |





