








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 393 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5339 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,183 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7149 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5994 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3846 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5194 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $964,864 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kazeshini | 57% | 69 |
| #2 | Franky | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Neo | 55% | 113 |
| #4 | makone ヅ | 49% | 171 |
| #5 | Floh_HRO | 47% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Zerons | 45% | 381 |
| #9 | MWP ヅ | 44% | 223 |
| #10 | Schlass | 43% | 94 |
| #11 | .LaXzyy | 42% | 108 |
| #12 | Kiobu | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hametz @CAGGTUS | 19 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Neo | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Zerons | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | .LaXzyy | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | MWP ヅ | 7 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zerons | 1399 | 0.17 | 34 min |
| #2 | MWP ヅ | 679 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | makone ヅ | 554 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #4 | Hametz @CAGGTUS | 328 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | Floh_HRO | 285 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J_Tob | +1.87 | 67 | 77 |
| #2 | Kazeshini | +1.79 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | makone ヅ | +1.42 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | Neo | +0.68 | 66 | 65 |
| #5 | MWP ヅ | -0.07 | 73 | 68 |





