








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3071 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3824 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3968 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4543 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $682,847 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Random Guy From Guatemala | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | Hametz @CAGGTUS | 62% | 37 |
| #3 | flasht | 57% | 60 |
| #4 | J_Tob | 57% | 69 |
| #5 | Zerons | 54% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | makone ヅ | 54% | 220 |
| #7 | MWP ヅ | 53% | 215 |
| #8 | Kiobu | 51% | 68 |
| #9 | Osaka.jpg | 38% | 32 |
| #10 | Im_Partick | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | makone ヅ | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | MWP ヅ | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Im_Partick | 8 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | J_Tob | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Zerons | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | makone ヅ | 666 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | MWP ヅ | 658 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | Zerons | 502 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #4 | J_Tob | 257 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | flasht | 92 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Random Guy From Guatemala | +4.39 | 78 | 73 |
| #2 | J_Tob | +2.05 | 69 | 79 |
| #3 | makone ヅ | +1.71 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | Kazeshini | +1.52 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | Hametz @CAGGTUS | +0.65 | 56 | 59 |





