








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 415 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 446 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,468 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2484 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4701 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3348 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2935 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,925,394 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiddybangs | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | Jae-Min Ling Pong | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | Eton | 63% | 35 |
| #4 | wexy | 44% | 32 |
| #5 | Tweety | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiddybangs | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | Jae-Min Ling Pong | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | Eton | 63% | 35 |
| #4 | wexy | 44% | 32 |
| #5 | Tweety | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tweety | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Eton | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eton | 183 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | Jae-Min Ling Pong | 162 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | Tweety | 102 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | chiddybangs | 81 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | wexy | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eton | +1.65 | 64 | 71 |
| #2 | Jae-Min Ling Pong | +1.54 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | chiddybangs | +1.37 | 68 | 70 |
| #4 | Tweety | +0.38 | 55 | 53 |
| #5 | wexy | -0.14 | 64 | 55 |





