








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 976 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10729 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6675 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 10069 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 10254 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,311,060 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1420 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheHelplessCow | 68% | 62 |
| #2 | meps | 62% | 101 |
| #3 | Liar Lyre | 58% | 79 |
| #4 | BenitoThaGod | 56% | 513 |
| #5 | dee | 55% | 271 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | dee | 55% | 271 |
| #6 | dom | 53% | 359 |
| #7 | K. | 53% | 81 |
| #8 | GEE | 51% | 94 |
| #9 | Dϵn𝔦 | 50% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BenitoThaGod | 15 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | dom | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | dee | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | meps | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | K. | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dom | 861 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #2 | BenitoThaGod | 410 | 0.04 | 11 min |
| #3 | GEE | 367 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | Dϵn𝔦 | 311 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | dee | 252 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheHelplessCow | +2.15 | 72 | 48 |
| #2 | Liar Lyre | +1.79 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | cH1ddy BaNg! | +1.71 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | meps | +0.56 | 55 | 58 |
| #5 | GEE | +0.13 | 52 | 71 |





