








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,443 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 509 | 15% |
| Smokes | 777 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1181 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 976 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $431,654 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bara | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | BRZR | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | ougii | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | peki | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | niemelä | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bara | 473 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | ougii | 282 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | BRZR | 207 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | peki | 115 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | niemelä | 80 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRZR | +2.80 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | niemelä | +1.95 | 85 | 62 |
| #3 | akseli | +0.82 | 89 | 44 |
| #4 | peki | +0.74 | 91 | 68 |
| #5 | Bara | +0.04 | 63 | 69 |





