








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 213 | 24% |
| Smokes | 176 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 331 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 173 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $141,096 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D4V3 | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Buck Angel | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | herculez | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | g1mp | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | J1nX | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laffi Kex^- | 1 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Buck Angel | 1 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D4V3 | +5.34 | 74 | 66 |
| #2 | J1nX | +2.57 | 78 | 67 |
| #3 | elec7r0 | +2.39 | 41 | 68 |
| #4 | Na9mús | +1.78 | 77 | 63 |
| #5 | phyziC | +1.77 | 44 | 45 |





