








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,852 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 259 | 14% |
| Smokes | 514 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 550 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 529 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,008 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | diddmau5 | 36% | 14 |
| #12 | phyziC | 25% | 4 |
| #13 | ayy | 20% | 5 |
| #14 | LuSharp | 20% | 5 |
| #15 | Siu | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stN* | 84 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | g1mp | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | geller | 28 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | diddmau5 | 26 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Laffi Kex^- | 24 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J1nX | +3.14 | 73 | 65 |
| #2 | stN* | +2.76 | 72 | 81 |
| #3 | Laffi Kex^- | +1.09 | 47 | 64 |
| #4 | g1mp | +0.65 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | ayy | +0.18 | 68 | 77 |





