








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
660 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,087 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1114 | 36% |
| Smokes | 611 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 746 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 616 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $153,987 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ry0ma | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | waltsu | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | KEIJO | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | xCrystal99 | 49% | 72 |
| #5 | MaXi | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xCrystal99 | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | onni^ | 4 | 0.0156 |
| #3 | KEIJO | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | waltsu | 3 | 0.0263 |
| #5 | MaXi | 2 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xCrystal99 | 311 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | KEIJO | 222 | 0.36 | 6 min |
| #3 | Ry0ma | 84 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #4 | onni^ | 48 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | MaXi | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waltsu | +4.80 | 89 | 56 |
| #2 | Ry0ma | +2.81 | 42 | 83 |
| #3 | SexyJuba | +1.92 | 49 | 60 |
| #4 | KEIJO | +1.75 | 62 | 66 |
| #5 | Ket Raitti | +1.53 | 57 | 77 |





