








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 786 | 44% |
| Smokes | 425 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 434 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 134 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $192,089 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TwinkMeister | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | Balls | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Mmmmmmmmmmmm | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | Xavier Landum | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | 76561198384119185 | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 76561198384119185 | 6 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Mmmmmmmmmmmm | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Balls | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Xavier Landum | 3 | 0.0196 |
| #5 | TwinkMeister | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xavier Landum | +4.57 | 95 | 67 |
| #2 | TwinkMeister | +4.34 | 88 | 66 |
| #3 | Balls | +3.66 | 67 | 41 |
| #4 | Mmmmmmmmmmmm | +0.70 | 41 | 47 |
| #5 | 76561198384119185 | +0.31 | 80 | 61 |





