








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
678 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,403 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 654 | 27% |
| Smokes | 605 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 637 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 507 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $86,187 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chvej1cSIUUU | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | QuertyX | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | JaZaj | 40% | 42 |
| #4 | Zajda | 35% | 40 |
| #5 | Nerman | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chvej1cSIUUU | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | QuertyX | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | JaZaj | 40% | 42 |
| #4 | Zajda | 35% | 40 |
| #5 | Nerman | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaZaj | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | QuertyX | 3 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Zajda | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | chvej1cSIUUU | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Nerman | 1 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaZaj | 71 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | chvej1cSIUUU | 31 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | QuertyX | 18 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Nerman | 12 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Zajda | 5 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chvej1cSIUUU | +1.61 | 83 | 46 |
| #2 | QuertyX | +1.41 | 48 | 42 |
| #3 | Baller | +0.56 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | JaZaj | +0.24 | 70 | 44 |
| #5 | Nerman | -1.96 | 33 | 62 |





