








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,644 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1861 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1624 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 923 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1236 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $533,210 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Zeeerup | 43% | 14 |
| #9 | Munch ツ | 40% | 30 |
| #10 | Tkmoney | 39% | 74 |
| #11 | monke | 38% | 16 |
| #12 | ziggy | 32% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tkmoney | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | beans | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | b0nKfap | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | pnoɹɥS 6Ɔ | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Munch ツ | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0nKfap | 373 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | beans | 158 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Tkmoney | 137 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | ziggy | 130 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | sp00ky | 91 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Munch ツ | +3.16 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | b0nKfap | +2.69 | 77 | 60 |
| #3 | Zeeerup | +1.87 | 59 | 34 |
| #4 | ziggy | +0.97 | 56 | 61 |
| #5 | s1mpleton | +0.21 | 55 | 67 |





