








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 109 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,726 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5871 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5191 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6468 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6196 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,478,092 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D3ADSH00 | 35 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Mattyniux | 24 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Materek | 16 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | crazy_karol | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | ZakręconaFryta | 10 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Materek | 822 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | D3ADSH00 | 584 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | crazy_karol | 426 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | Mattyniux | 418 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #5 | ZakręconaFryta | 316 | 0.05 | 8 min |





