








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1088 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 703 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




231 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9615 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4171 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 7392 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5615 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,796,409 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | orioN | 51% | 363 |
| #2 | SoggyBottoms | 49% | 263 |
| #3 | Shieldbasch | 49% | 263 |
| #4 | ✪ Chef | 48% | 357 |
| #5 | SpiNaL | 47% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Chef | 143 | 0.0193 |
| #2 | orioN | 118 | 0.0159 |
| #3 | skiFs | 36 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | AngrryKitten✪ [ttv] | 30 | 0.0124 |
| #5 | Dixon Miass | 24 | 0.0113 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skiFs | 1494 | 0.30 | 35 min |
| #2 | ✪ Chef | 878 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #3 | orioN | 578 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #4 | SoggyBottoms | 397 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | berrey | 256 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | orioN | +2.85 | 84 | 54 |
| #2 | ✪ Chef | +1.70 | 61 | 53 |
| #3 | s0urpu$$ moNY(C)STAKKA | +1.31 | 69 | 57 |
| #4 | Dixon Miass | +0.80 | 72 | 39 |
| #5 | Kreygz | +0.32 | 52 | 48 |





