








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 805 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1429 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1056 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1452 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,789,761 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 449 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SoggyBottoms | 55% | 89 |
| #2 | orioN | 54% | 110 |
| #3 | ✪ Chef | 49% | 97 |
| #4 | s0urpu$$ moNY(C)STAKKA | 49% | 263 |
| #5 | skiFs | 46% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s0urpu$$ moNY(C)STAKKA | 60 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | orioN | 39 | 0.0171 |
| #3 | ✪ Chef | 32 | 0.0157 |
| #4 | AngrryKitten✪ [ttv] | 13 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | skiFs | 12 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skiFs | 548 | 0.37 | 13 min |
| #2 | s0urpu$$ moNY(C)STAKKA | 525 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | ✪ Chef | 288 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | orioN | 171 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | SoggyBottoms | 157 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | orioN | +2.43 | 82 | 53 |
| #2 | ✪ Chef | +2.25 | 58 | 53 |
| #3 | s0urpu$$ moNY(C)STAKKA | +1.83 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | big n crispy | +1.68 | 64 | 42 |
| #5 | SpiNaL | +0.08 | 47 | 48 |





