








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 498 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 326 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5168 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2195 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2360 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3691 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $654,306 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SP33D3RNam | 50% | 44 |
| #2 | ﴾ Ʈĕăɱ ƘȋƪƪĕƦ ﴿ | 47% | 30 |
| #3 | Under Armour | 43% | 47 |
| #4 | Namwolf | 43% | 40 |
| #5 | Sokken Forry | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SP33D3RNam | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | ﴾ Ʈĕăɱ ƘȋƪƪĕƦ ﴿ | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Namwolf | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | wurmpie | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Under Armour | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SP33D3RNam | 143 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | wurmpie | 78 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | DragonWolfsyrs | 72 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | ﴾ Ʈĕăɱ ƘȋƪƪĕƦ ﴿ | 68 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Under Armour | 64 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ﴾ Ʈĕăɱ ƘȋƪƪĕƦ ﴿ | +1.81 | 24 | 55 |
| #2 | just uninstall | -0.65 | 44 | 51 |
| #3 | Sokken Forry | -1.57 | 7 | 26 |
| #4 | DragonWolfsyrs | -2.03 | 30 | 16 |
| #5 | Under Armour | -2.31 | 17 | 63 |





