








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 353 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1998 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 632 | 11% |
| Smokes | 253 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 2529 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 2429 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,762 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ace Wolf | 47% | 129 |
| #2 | Clintie | 45% | 22 |
| #3 | Phantom | 43% | 40 |
| #4 | just uninstall | 43% | 40 |
| #5 | Beerded Wolf | 42% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | V-KILLER(VOLT-EYE) | 34% | 70 |
| #11 | CampingInYourMomsBasement | 32% | 25 |
| #12 | VengefulBunny | 31% | 32 |
| #13 | Squishy™ | 30% | 43 |
| #14 | wurmpie | 12% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SP33D3RNam | 24 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Under Armour | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Sokken Forry | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Ace Wolf | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | ﴾ Ʈĕăɱ ƘȋƪƪĕƦ ﴿ | 7 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SP33D3RNam | 717 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | V-KILLER(VOLT-EYE) | 352 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | ﴾ Ʈĕăɱ ƘȋƪƪĕƦ ﴿ | 265 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Under Armour | 242 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | Sokken Forry | 190 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ace Wolf | +4.21 | 75 | 23 |
| #2 | V-KILLER(VOLT-EYE) | +3.57 | 61 | 69 |
| #3 | Clintie | +3.04 | 12 | 61 |
| #4 | ﴾ Ʈĕăɱ ƘȋƪƪĕƦ ﴿ | +2.39 | 25 | 68 |
| #5 | just uninstall | +1.82 | 37 | 59 |





