








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 865 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 225 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6371 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6341 | 20% |
| Smokes | 12973 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 7303 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5546 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,278,644 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1770 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beerded Wolf | 48% | 80 |
| #2 | SP33D3RNam | 39% | 297 |
| #3 | Under Armour | 38% | 182 |
| #4 | Namwolf | 36% | 125 |
| #5 | Sokken Forry | 31% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Under Armour | 38% | 182 |
| #4 | Namwolf | 36% | 125 |
| #5 | Sokken Forry | 31% | 54 |
| #6 | Jubster | 29% | 49 |
| #7 | Squishy™ | 28% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SP33D3RNam | 24 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Under Armour | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Beerded Wolf | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Namwolf | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Sokken Forry | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SP33D3RNam | 860 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | Under Armour | 253 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | Beerded Wolf | 120 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jubster | 79 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Squishy™ | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ﴾ Ʈĕăɱ ƘȋƪƪĕƦ ﴿ | +0.84 | 19 | 64 |
| #2 | SP33D3RNam | -2.04 | 12 | 61 |
| #3 | Beerded Wolf | -2.11 | 16 | 56 |
| #4 | Namwolf | -2.60 | 5 | 32 |
| #5 | Under Armour | -2.71 | 17 | 59 |





