








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 140 | 30% |
| Smokes | 135 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 108 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 83 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $64,625 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | diskotoro | 60% | 5 |
| #7 | ≧ᴸˢ≦ Hcräveler | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | VILQYSTÖÖ | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | HEADKNOCKER | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | CHUPE | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEADKNOCKER | 2 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | VILQYSTÖÖ | 1 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | spessudessu | 1 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Temeee | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VILQYSTÖÖ | 71 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #2 | Temeee | 47 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #3 | HEADKNOCKER | 39 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | spessudessu | 23 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | timotronic | 17 | 0.17 | 1 min |





