








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 827 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 342 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,664 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5506 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4126 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3390 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3642 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,574,995 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 281 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spessudessu | 56% | 238 |
| #2 | ≧ᴸˢ≦ Hcräveler | 55% | 166 |
| #3 | diskotoro | 54% | 182 |
| #4 | biisoni | 53% | 245 |
| #5 | Tomeliuz | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ≧ᴸˢ≦ Hcräveler | 55% | 166 |
| #3 | diskotoro | 54% | 182 |
| #4 | biisoni | 53% | 245 |
| #5 | Tomeliuz | 34% | 35 |
| #6 | NÄSTY | 23% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biisoni | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | spessudessu | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | diskotoro | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | ≧ᴸˢ≦ Hcräveler | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | NÄSTY | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biisoni | 363 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | spessudessu | 329 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | ≧ᴸˢ≦ Hcräveler | 195 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | diskotoro | 190 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | NÄSTY | 152 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | timotronic | +2.20 | 80 | 64 |
| #2 | ≧ᴸˢ≦ Hcräveler | +1.17 | 83 | 71 |
| #3 | Tomeliuz | -0.21 | 84 | 64 |
| #4 | diskotoro | -1.20 | 58 | 64 |
| #5 | biisoni | -1.89 | 44 | 63 |





