








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1191 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1018 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 925 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1122 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $416,576 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 305 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | väpä | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Hesburger-Enjoyer16 | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | VeleHo | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | elaijahah | 60% | 58 |
| #5 | ♡I love cat girls♡ | 56% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asa B | 21 | 0.0284 |
| #2 | ♡I love cat girls♡ | 10 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | elaijahah | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Hesburger-Enjoyer16 | 2 | 0.0117 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elaijahah | 291 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #2 | ♡I love cat girls♡ | 108 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | asa B | 98 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | VeleHo | 53 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hesburger-Enjoyer16 | 13 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ѕєєиq | +5.17 | 76 | 60 |
| #2 | VeleHo | +0.52 | 80 | 54 |
| #3 | elaijahah | +0.37 | 38 | 84 |
| #4 | Hesburger-Enjoyer16 | +0.00 | 37 | 25 |
| #5 | ♡I love cat girls♡ | -0.63 | 71 | 39 |





