








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2548 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 127 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,984 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16530 | 37% |
| Smokes | 10973 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8963 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 8518 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,206,858 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2707 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | sigma eagle kullimeister | 56% | 61 |
| #4 | Hesburger-Enjoyer16 | 55% | 91 |
| #5 | ♡I love cat girls♡ | 54% | 272 |
| #6 | asa B | 52% | 152 |
| #7 | väpä | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asa B | 57 | 0.0193 |
| #2 | ♡I love cat girls♡ | 43 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | sigma eagle kullimeister | 21 | 0.0179 |
| #4 | ✪ѕєєиq | 17 | 0.0146 |
| #5 | Hesburger-Enjoyer16 | 10 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡I love cat girls♡ | 515 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | asa B | 377 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | ✪ѕєєиq | 278 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #4 | sigma eagle kullimeister | 188 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hesburger-Enjoyer16 | 108 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ѕєєиq | +6.89 | 72 | 65 |
| #2 | elaijahah | +3.06 | 48 | 86 |
| #3 | ♡I love cat girls♡ | +1.27 | 79 | 47 |
| #4 | Hesburger-Enjoyer16 | +0.35 | 45 | 32 |
| #5 | asa B | -0.04 | 73 | 58 |





