








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 570 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 290 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4093 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5146 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3737 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3310 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,170,842 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gre | 23 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | . | 20 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Klauuz | 15 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | KeretzZ | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | pɐǝɥʞɔɐlq | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gre | 320 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Klauuz | 304 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | . | 148 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | KeretzZ | 137 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | pɐǝɥʞɔɐlq | 114 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pɐǝɥʞɔɐlq | +3.01 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | . | +2.86 | 92 | 55 |
| #3 | Klauuz | +1.14 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | JJ | +0.55 | 74 | 41 |
| #5 | gre | +0.49 | 82 | 70 |





