








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 703 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1014 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1667 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1638 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1527 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,032,920 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demington | 63% | 83 |
| #2 | SleepyBree | 57% | 46 |
| #3 | Wish-a-n*gga-would William | 55% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demington | 63% | 83 |
| #2 | SleepyBree | 57% | 46 |
| #3 | Wish-a-n*gga-would William | 55% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wish-a-n*gga-would William | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Demington | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | SleepyBree | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wish-a-n*gga-would William | 86 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | Demington | 46 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | SleepyBree | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demington | +6.23 | 82 | 43 |
| #2 | Wish-a-n*gga-would William | +1.04 | 46 | 40 |
| #3 | rumaier | -0.11 | 61 | 30 |
| #4 | SleepyBree | -2.11 | 37 | 26 |





