








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 739 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 548 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,800 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4438 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1776 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 3747 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3839 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,649,366 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eustachy eugeniusz | 58% | 55 |
| #2 | VerXisS | 56% | 93 |
| #3 | Martaal | 55% | 82 |
| #4 | πΎπ¦ππππ | 54% | 321 |
| #5 | Bond | 53% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | VerXisS | 56% | 93 |
| #3 | Martaal | 55% | 82 |
| #4 | πΎπ¦ππππ | 54% | 321 |
| #5 | Bond | 53% | 62 |
| #6 | chrupek | 53% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΎπ¦ππππ | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | chrupek | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Bond | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Martaal | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | eustachy eugeniusz | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΎπ¦ππππ | 709 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #2 | chrupek | 592 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | Martaal | 188 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | VerXisS | 143 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | eustachy eugeniusz | 73 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΎπ¦ππππ | +2.37 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | Martaal | +1.48 | 57 | 63 |
| #3 | chrupek | +0.17 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | Mako | -0.27 | 77 | 55 |
| #5 | eustachy eugeniusz | -1.29 | 57 | 50 |





