








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 558 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,716 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5133 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5992 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4647 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4944 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $893,373 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | RixNix2k | 59% | 69 |
| #5 | friiki | 50% | 26 |
| #6 | Toomas | 50% | 105 |
| #7 | Vigri | 47% | 43 |
| #8 | Speedy | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toomas | 18 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Max Verstappen | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Speedy | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Vigri | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Beps man | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max Verstappen | 392 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | Toomas | 211 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | RixNix2k | 104 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Vigri | 99 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Speedy | 71 | 0.08 | 1 min |





