








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,699 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1467 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2434 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2063 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1735 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $741,955 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ✪ Lame | 46% | 48 |
| #7 | (-----barabas------) | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | ✪ fleischjunGe | 37% | 38 |
| #9 | Stiff_TV | 33% | 18 |
| #10 | pee_W | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -prYbe | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | ✪ fleischjunGe | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | ✪ Lame | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | KptnPiet | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | pee_W | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Lame | 125 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | -prYbe | 93 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | KptnPiet | 53 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✪ fleischjunGe | 44 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | bENz ♥ you! | 44 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Lame | +3.77 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | Stiff_TV | +3.16 | 61 | 73 |
| #3 | Rambo-Ramon-Rainer | +1.30 | 52 | 69 |
| #4 | ELO ANCHOR | -0.04 | 52 | 69 |
| #5 | KptnPiet | -0.92 | 39 | 66 |





