








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 696 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 450 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4132 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,063 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3406 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4079 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5140 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4438 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,818,149 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bENz ♥ you! | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | masH | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | (-----barabas------) | 51% | 155 |
| #4 | ✪ fleischjunGe | 51% | 73 |
| #5 | Rambo-Ramon-Rainer | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | QuieT... | 46% | 37 |
| #11 | -prYbe | 45% | 144 |
| #12 | Hackbrett Schorsch | 42% | 36 |
| #13 | ELO ANCHOR | 35% | 43 |
| #14 | nicodemus | 35% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -prYbe | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Λffᴇ мɪt Waffᴇ | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | (-----barabas------) | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ✪ fleischjunGe | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Rambo-Ramon-Rainer | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (-----barabas------) | 387 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | Λffᴇ мɪt Waffᴇ | 290 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | ✪ Lame | 270 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | masH | 197 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #5 | -prYbe | 173 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | masH | +3.62 | 81 | 69 |
| #2 | ✪ Lame | +3.28 | 75 | 72 |
| #3 | nicodemus | +2.66 | 74 | 40 |
| #4 | QuieT... | +2.58 | 80 | 66 |
| #5 | Stiff_TV | +1.70 | 56 | 74 |





