








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 415 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3786 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2767 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2586 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1962 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $800,941 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1508 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sniffaa | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Uqojeqic | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Tude | 56% | 71 |
| #4 | _shaws | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Häccine | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Häccine | 54% | 24 |
| #6 | Sush11 | 52% | 108 |
| #7 | Guru | 51% | 127 |
| #8 | SemiLei | 47% | 149 |
| #9 | Tumpe | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sush11 | 17 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Tude | 10 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | SemiLei | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Guru | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | sniffaa | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guru | 414 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | SemiLei | 356 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Sush11 | 320 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Tude | 221 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | _shaws | 147 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uqojeqic | +2.41 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | sniffaa | +2.33 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | Guru | +1.50 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | Tumpe | +1.35 | 79 | 58 |
| #5 | Sush11 | +1.19 | 77 | 62 |





