








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Wingman | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 992 | 30% |
| Smokes | 122 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 1770 | 54% |
| Molotovs | 398 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $439,273 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Craw- | 42% | 36 |
| #2 | LeadSkeleton | 40% | 47 |
| #3 | CoronaryArtery | 36% | 98 |
| #4 | antmick | 28% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Craw- | 42% | 36 |
| #2 | LeadSkeleton | 40% | 47 |
| #3 | CoronaryArtery | 36% | 98 |
| #4 | antmick | 28% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Craw- | 23 | 0.0331 |
| #2 | antmick | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | CoronaryArtery | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | LeadSkeleton | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Craw- | 211 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #2 | antmick | 143 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #3 | CoronaryArtery | 129 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | LeadSkeleton | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Craw- | +9.78 | 76 | 62 |
| #2 | LeadSkeleton | +1.78 | 59 | 48 |
| #3 | CoronaryArtery | -0.86 | 42 | 30 |
| #4 | antmick | -1.17 | 46 | 27 |
| #5 | Horse Raddish | -6.89 | 5 | 23 |





