








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1277 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2513 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3069 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2550 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2324 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,014,158 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eiron | 67% | 67 |
| #2 | tatti | 63% | 84 |
| #3 | Tyhm3 | 57% | 210 |
| #4 | Eikka | 57% | 93 |
| #5 | I❤MILFS | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eiron | 67% | 67 |
| #2 | tatti | 63% | 84 |
| #3 | Tyhm3 | 57% | 210 |
| #4 | Eikka | 57% | 93 |
| #5 | I❤MILFS | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I❤MILFS | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Tyhm3 | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Eikka | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | tatti | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | eiron | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyhm3 | 656 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Eikka | 283 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | tatti | 231 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | I❤MILFS | 107 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | eiron | 37 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TracyMcGrady1 | +2.54 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | Eikka | +0.83 | 69 | 48 |
| #3 | I❤MILFS | +0.30 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | tatti | +0.09 | 58 | 48 |
| #5 | Tyhm3 | -0.48 | 44 | 59 |





