








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 193 matches | ||
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,277 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2076 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3716 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1827 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2658 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,847,412 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iigLu | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | nutcube | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | rzu | 64% | 119 |
| #4 | ask me if im a tree | 62% | 82 |
| #5 | TheGreatestJakeToHave_EverJaked | 62% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bean | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | TheGreatestJakeToHave_EverJaked | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ask me if im a tree | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | LukeM | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | nutcube | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheGreatestJakeToHave_EverJaked | 711 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | LukeM | 286 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | rzu | 251 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | bean | 250 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | ask me if im a tree | 95 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rzu | +3.19 | 88 | 62 |
| #2 | TheGreatestJakeToHave_EverJaked | +2.84 | 83 | 70 |
| #3 | nutcube | +1.72 | 62 | 55 |
| #4 | iigLu | +0.40 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | ask me if im a tree | +0.31 | 89 | 44 |





